Green Lace
by FabledFigment
Summary: River is confounding poor Jayne. Rayne.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Green lace

Prompt: 'Sloth' for the Seven Deadly Sins challenge

Author: FabledFigment

Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me. (including the inspiration, thank you crazywriterchick)

Rating: R (For camping out in Jayne's filthy mind)

Now that 'When to pounce?' is complete, I am busily procrastinating my longer fics by answering a challenge…

* * *

It was a quiet week on the Firefly _Serenity_. She was running a parabolic out of the ecliptic. She had a tidy cargo in her belly, no new passengers on board and no-one on her tail.

Most of the crew was spending a lazy day in their own bunks. Emerging only to help themselves to the food stores. They were generally avoiding each other, as was common smack in the middle of an especially long voyage.

There wasn't much for a gun hand to do on a run like this except keep his body honed and think on women.

Jayne was now doing both, pushing himself relentlessly on his chin-up bar and cataloguing women in his mind. Those he'd sexed, those he'd seen in pictures, those he'd seen naked accidentally, memorable ones he'd only seen clothed…

Sweat poured off him in rivulets, he could taste it, smell it in every breath. He grunted with each motion now. His muscles burned and strained. One. More.

Jayne dropped himself from the chin-up bar and turned, reaching for his towel. He wiped the sweat away from his eyes and rolled his shoulders a bit.

He would quit soon and hit the shower. Not that the grey-water was all that clean after a week in the black. He could smell all of his crewmates in it, and all of the soaps they used. By the end of a month without flushing the tank, all he could smell was himself. Fewer people took showers at that point.

He turned towards the center of the bay and was startled to see the moonbrain. He tilted his head, trying to figure out exactly what she was doing.

River was stretched out on the guard rail bordering the stairs. Her fingers and toes gripped the metal railing tightly. She was moving very, very slowly downwards, head first. Looked dangerous; stupid crazy girl.

Jayne watched as she inched downwards. Her skirt was mostly hanging down, it barely managed to cover her ass. That was a mighty fine length of thigh she was displaying for him.

Her head turned, not moving any faster than the rest of her. Their eyes met, "Not for you, inevitable."

Jayne flinched. Like he really needed reminding of that. Moonbrain was strictly look-don't-touch, and don't look too long, either.

"The experience must be complete." She intoned. "Understanding must be gained."

She continued downward, watching him. None of the pretty-shiny on this boat was for him. He thought he was used to that, but sometimes, like now, it blindsided him.

Jayne couldn't seem to stop himself from staring, even though she had just said she didn't want him to watch.

"No." River reached the bottom of the railing and looked down at her hands.

Somehow her grip changed and she went from stretched out to flipping thru the air. It was an impressive maneuver, Jayne was pretty sure it should have been impossible. She landed with a soft thump.

Her panties were dark green. Lacy too.

Jayne swallowed, she must not have meant him to see that. Regardless, he found the image of her skirt hanging down the wrong way from her waist indelibly etched into his brain. He found he had a need to return to his bunk…

River was in the way.

She gazed at him impassively for a long moment, standing calmly as if she hadn't just been upside down with her female parts nearly naked.

"Always misinterpreting." She smirked. "That last part was for you."

Jayne lost all control over his jaw, which dropped nearly to the floor. Had she…? Really…?

River turned away then, seeming like she would now just walk away like the I fen li /I creature she was. Instead she lifted her leg to the side till it was almost at right angles with her body and stretched her arms out forming a right angle going the other way. She only stayed like that a moment before twisting and turning.

Looked like a dance. Maybe. If there had been music.

An ache in his shoulder reminded Jayne he should stretch his own self before he stiffened up.

"Those who do not increase their talents find them taken away." River was facing him again. She stretched both her arms over her head in a dancer pose. Did she realize how enticing that was? Her eyes narrowed and her lips curved upwards ever so slightly.

He wrenched his eyes away from the crazy girl and turned back to his routine.

He heard Moonbrain make some sort of almost rude noise at his back.

She continued speaking. "They are given to the faithful servants, who already possesses much. Do you increase your talents? Do you posses much? Will you be given that which hath been taken away from the slothful servant?"

Jayne turned back, confused.

River was standing directly behind him, looking at him intently.

She reached out and touched his jaw. He flinched away. Her finger retreated, glistening with his sweat.

She stared at the droplet, tipping her head back and forth. She sniffed at her finger, then touched it to her out stretched tongue.

"Will you become a pillar of salt?" River asked seriously. "Do you turn back?"

"Huh?" Jayne, who had been mesmerized by her motion, flinched again. His brain milled at that comment for a moment… "Have you been reading the Shepherd's bible again."

"Repetition is unnecessary, the data remains from the first reading." River looked up into his face. "I am attempting to correlate it with old data."

"Old…?" His brow furrowed, then he wondered why he was trying to understand her babbling. It couldn't have anything to do with a certain green lace covered…

"Sloth. What does a slow moving mammal have to do with an unprofitable servant? Which meaning preceded the other?" She blinked at him. "Does either have meaning in conjunction with Jayne?"

Huh? He frowned at her. Was she calling him slothful? He was the one working up a sweat here.

Jayne tucked the end of his towel into his pocket. Screw this. He was going to go get cleaned up. Then he was going to his bunk. Then he would clean up again. Good plan.

River stopped him with a hand on the center of his chest. "Confusion."

Jayne shook his head and batted her hand away. He weren't the least confused. He strode away, heading for the showers, thinking on one crazy woman in particular.

And green lace.


	2. The Token

Title: The Token

Series Title: Green lace

Author: FabledFigment

Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me.

Rating: R (For camping out in Jayne's filthy mind)

* * *

Still slightly damp from the shower, Jayne removed his clothes from the sonic cleaning machine.

He tugged on his pants and sniffed at the shirt. He sighed, too ripe, he balled it in his fist. He threw his towel into the machine and hit the cycle button.

He glanced around to make sure he wasn't leaving nuthin out. The women on this boat sure objected strong to a lot of stuff.

He grinned. One of those objections was to him wandering around shirtless, but putting on the one in his hand would sort of defeat the whole shower-after-sweating rule. Hell, who was going to see him to object anyway. People would stay mostly in their bunks today and all tomorrow too.

He grabbed up his boots and tucked his socks inside.

He felt really good in a sore, after-workout way.

Time to head for his bunk and some intense thinking about that green lace. He felt a grin spread across his face. What a shiny sight.

You never jerk off in the shower on a spaceship. That is strictly a black-water activity. Common curtsey, no-one wants to wash in that over and over and over.

Jayne had crewed ships where that rule was ignored, the smell alone was more than he wanted to deal with, even with all the filters the grey water flushed thru. He showered less if the water was fouled like that.

Made you want to change the filters along with the water.

Disgusting like a whore that didn't clean up between customers.

He padded barefoot thru the ship, pausing in the galley long enough to grab up a snack.

Jayne dropped into his bunk, threw his boots to the side and put the dirty clothes into the laundry pile in one of his cabinets. He began checking all his pockets, dropping everything in his top drawer before sending his pants after the shirt and socks. He sealed the little compartment shut and turned to his bed.

What he saw there knocked the breath out of him. He knew his bunk had been locked. He had too many weapons lying around to let the crazy girl have access to them. Plus it sort of defeated the purpose of having his own bunk if anyone could just waltz right in.

So, seeing that little scrap of green lace laid out on his bunk was a shock. He sniffed the air, yes, she had been here, not real recent and she left again right quick.

Jayne checked his arsenal, all his girls were accounted for, at least she hadn't taken one of them again.

The shock faded and Jayne was left with only one thought. Somewhere on this very boat, those female parts she'd almost let him see were wandering around without anything to cover them over.

He groaned and reached for the scrap of lace. No getting over it, Doc's little sister had gotten it into her crazy head to be a torturing dick tease.

She had to know as well as he did that he couldn't do a thing about it. Nobody would believe him if he complained and they would all kill him if he tried to take her up on the implied offer.

He lifted the panties to his nose. Yup, smelled like her.

Jayne had never been one to collect trophies or any such nonsense, but he knew right away, he weren't never gonna give these back.

He took his immediate problem to hand, thinking the whole time about a certain pair of creamy white thighs and the bare female parts between them.

Jayne hid in his bunk the rest of the day, but the next morning he ventured out to find food.

He made himself a big bowl of instant full-nutrient gruel, and considered a moment before adding the last of his spicy ginger-garlic sauce. He added a dash of salt for good measure and stirred it all up together.

He took a big bite. Good stuff. He always kept back a treat like this for partway thru a long ride.

He sensed River before he saw her. The crazy girl was right behind him.

He turned, bringing his bowl up like a shield.

His mouth grew dry around the food already inside.

"Whatcha want?" He asked suspiciously, trying to chew.

"The splendor of the thing increases exponentially. Will it envelop and burn?" She asked it like it was a serious question he might know the answer to.

"Huh?" He didn't think he even knew what she was talking about.

"The overture has been played." She looked intently into his eyes. "You are unready." She said, puzzled.

River frowned. Her hand reached out, it ran over his shoulder and down his arm.

Jayne shrugged her off, scowling.

"Stop that."

"He likes to touch, but he does not want to be touched. Data is lacking."

"I ain't never…" He protested.

"Maybe not." She stared like she couldn't figure him out.

Their eyes were locked together, so it came as a shock when she touched his hip and probed into his pocket.

"Lips deny, yet he carries her token into battle." She looked confused.

Jayne caught her wrist and pulled her hand roughly away from his side.

She smiled up at him, pulling their joined hands to her chest. Jayne's eyes widened as the back of his hand made contact with her breasts.

"The black knight, shrouded in mystery. He will win the contest in the end." She gave him a satisfied, feminine smile.

Jayne dropped her wrist and inched away from her along the counter. If he could just get past…

She sidestepped, keeping him trapped. She looked like she thought they were playing a game.

"Leave me alone, girl." He croaked.

"Your hands are strong." She told him seriously. "You will defeat dragons."

"I ain't no rutting knight." He growled.

Jayne gave up on subtlety, he pushed past her. He needed to get away fast.

He made it as far as the door before she spoke again.

"You would still rather hold vigil in solitude." She looked sad, maybe even lonely.

Jayne looked down at the suddenly unappetizing bowl in his hand. He turned down the hall and dropped into his bunk, careful not to spill.

He forced himself to eat his pasty lunch, bite after disgusting bite.


	3. Tea For Three

Title: Three for Tea

Series Title: Green lace

Author: FabledFigment

Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me.

Rating: R (For camping out in Jayne's filthy mind)

* * *

Jayne wasn't one for inactivity. Before long boredom chased him back out to the cargo bay and his weight bench. He did extra sets at lower weight when he couldn't find a proper spotter, so he could count on his workout taking up a good portion of his day.

There was Zen in a good workout. Breathing and counting and just being there. Half the time he didn't bother to get all spiritual about it, easier to just think on women.

Today, the only face he saw was her, the only body… Today needed to be a Zen day.

Jayne concentrated on his breathing, pushing aside thoughts of the distracting crazy girl.

For a while it worked, then his skin started itching like he was being watched. He could tell without looking that it was River.

Jayne stubbornly finished his set before looking for her.

She was sitting at the bottom of the aft steps, watching him. He scowled at her. She smiled back.

She stood gracefully, not breaking their eye contact.

Jayne was afraid she would come close and start touching him again. He stood and hefted the barbell to start his next set.

River eyed him curiously. "Tactics." She nodded as if they had just had some sort of full conversation.

Then she started dancing. Girl could dance. At first it was innocent, like a child at play, then Jayne started noticing the enticing bits thrown in.

After just a short time there was nothing at all innocent about her motion. She turned and shimmied and her hands traced patterns along her body. The only thing that didn't happen was she didn't take off any clothes. Otherwise, Jayne was forcibly reminded of all the strippers he'd ever seen dance.

Jayne noticed that he couldn't remember to lift the barbell around, much less count his reps, so he set the weight down and sat heavily on the bench.

This seriously had to stop.

River ended her dance, stopping right next to him.

She reached a hand out to cup his cheek. He couldn't find the strength to move. Her thumb ran over his lower lip and he shivered.

Had to stop now.

Jayne stood. He knew exactly how to end this. He just needed a little help.

Jayne grabbed her by the arm and half dragged her along. She came more willing than not, but she tried to pry his hand off when he stopped at the door to Inara's shuttle and started pounding.

"Is Mal here?" Jayne growled when the hatch opened. He was ignoring the kicking River was doing to his shins.

"No…" Inara's eyes were wide. "I think he's in his bunk."

"Good." Jayne pushed the moonbrain in first and followed, slamming the door. "'Cause we gotta talk to you and he'd be in the way."

Jayne angrily shoved River towards the couch and she landed on it, glaring up at him. Too bad.

"Jayne!" Inara looked angry too. "What is the meaning of this?"

"The meaning is that she needs to stop teasing and enticing or she's gonna get more than she bargained for and I'm gonna get dead." Jayne crossed his arms and glared down at the baggage on the couch.

"Oh my." Inara said weakly, "What kind of teasing? No, wait. Let me make us some tea. Sit down, Jayne."

Jayne sat as far from the moonbrain as he could, still glaring.

Inara brought a tray and began preparing to serve them tea. She brought out a packet of sweet biscuits too, and offered them around.

"So, Jayne, exactly what kind of teasing are you talking about?" Inara asked as she poured tea into those tiny cups of hers.

Jayne swallowed. "Turning flips in those little dresses to show off her nethers on purpose. Dancing, touching herself like a girl in a bar would." He demonstrated jerkily on his own chest. "And coming real close and touching me when there ain't nobody else around and…" He glared at River again. "She's been in my bunk when I wasn't there." He wasn't about to mention the panties in his pocket.

Inara blinked, and Jayne had the sinking feeling she might chalk it up to his imagination. He'd been right before, nobody was gonna believe this.

"Sometimes she says things teasing-like too. She's just daring me to touch her so she can go complain." Jayne snapped his mouth shut, figuring he'd said enough.

Inara glanced over at River, who was looking more and more sullen the more Jayne talked. In fact, she looked rather like an average teenager who knows she's about to get in trouble for something she'd done, but still wasn't sorry she'd done it.

" _Mei mei_ " Inara said quietly. "Is any of this true?"

River nodded once, chin set.

Jayne blew out a breath, at least she admitted to her teasing ways. He didn't have any other kind of proof.

"What were you intending?" Inara asked very slowly.

River sighed and rolled her eyes. "Seduction," She enunciated the word carefully. "I'm not very good at it."

"Oh, she's good," Jayne glared at the girl. "That's why we're here, 'Nara. You gotta make her stop before she gets me spaced."

"River?" Inara said, waving Jayne quiet. "You're trying to seduce Jayne?"

River curled her legs up onto the couch and tucked her skirt around them. She looked down at the biscuit in her hand and frowned.

"River?" Inara asked again, gently.

She nodded again. "He resists." She looked right into Jayne's eyes. "Why do you resist?"

Jayne shifted and looked down at the tiny cup in his hands, refusing to give an answer.

River looked at Inara. "His mouth says no, but his eyes follow me and his mind yearns to touch. Why does he resist?"

They were all quiet for a long moment, Inara looking from one to the other.

River broke the silence first. "The princess in the tower is lonely. The prince is too long in his journey. She wishes to seek him out, but the tower is too high and she cannot escape."

"I ain't no gorram prince." Jayne growled.

River frowned and curled inward again, mumbling.

Inara let out a funny sounding breath that was almost a laugh.

"He has a point, River, Jayne is…well…" Inara's voice trained off, but Jayne could easily finish that sentence for her. Crude, mean…

"Heat, two bodies meeting in the dark. I thought he would be easier to convince." River said petulantly.

"Are you sure you want your first to be Jayne?" Inara asked kindly. "I could easily arrange for a colleague to initiate your sexual experience."

Seemed sensible to Jayne. A boy-whore companion would be just the thing. Break her in nice and gentle so she could stop harassing him. His hand stole to his pocket. Still not giving them back.

"The buds of May…" River shook her head and spoke very slowly. "Teenage boys on border moons are easier to seduce than crusty mercenaries." She paused letting that sink in. "There is more than proximity in my philosophy."

"Ah…" Inara said.

Jayne saw red. It was one thing to let her find a nice whore, but some border moon yahoo had been messing with _his_ moonbrain? He took a deep breath and set his jaw, not his business anyway.

"I think what we need here is a matriarchal council." Inara said slowly. "Jayne, would you please go ask Zoë and Kaylee to come here? No need to explain the details, just ask them to come."

Jayne, seeing his escape, jumped up, setting his full cup of tea on the table. "Yeah, sure. They'll be right here."

"Wait, Jayne," Inara stopped him before the door. "Would you be interested? In River, I mean."

Jayne felt his jaw drop, he closed it and licked his lips. He opened his mouth again as if to say something, but there were no words so he snapped it shut again.

His hand sought out that scrap of lace again.

"Well, that wasn't a no, that's something." Inara said. "Go on, Jayne."

He opened the door and slammed it behind him as well as he was able.

Mal was on the catwalk, headed for the shuttle. He looked most unhappy to see Jayne coming out.

"I wouldn't go in there." Jayne warned. "River is there. They just sent me for Zoë and Kaylee. I don't think they want the men about. Some sort of ladies only council, I think."

Mal looked apprehensively at the door. "Yeah," He said, "So, I was really going to the bridge." He clattered down the stairs and crossed the bay, heading for the other stairs.

"You see the girls, send them on to Inara." Jayne called.

Jayne found Kaylee mucking about the engine and saw Mal speaking to Zoë, so he went back to his weights, hoping to find some peace. Hoping to avoid the hopeful thoughts he'd been starting to almost believe might maybe…

One…Breathe…Two…Breathe…

* * *

A/N: There you go, weightlifting as a religious experience. Easily as valid as knitting, or throwing pots or…Whatever else physical and repetitive you could designate as a prayer. 


	4. Cause and Effect

Title: Cause and Effect

Series Title: Green lace

Author: FabledFigment

Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me.

Rating: R (For camping out in Jayne's filthy mind)

* * *

The women stayed closed in Inara's shuttle for two whole days. After only a couple hours, Mal and Simon started interrogating Jayne about the whys and wherefores. Jayne kept things as simple as possible.

He and River were fighting. He asked Inara to help. Inara decided to get all the females on the boat in on talking to River. Enough said.

Jayne would almost have been worried about them if he hadn't heard giggling coming from the kitchen both nights. Clearly things were going well. Hopefully they weren't laughing at him much.

Jayne did his best to go about his regular routine. Except for the tension in his spine he could almost forget that they were up there doing their council thing.

He was at his weights again when the shuttle's lock cycled open. He tensed, but stubbornly continued his rep.

"Jayne, I've come to warn you that River is not going to stop trying to seduce you." Inara looked down on him where he lay on his weight bench. She looked flawless as ever.

"But…" Jayne set the bar back in the rests and sat up.

"Unless… unless you stop fantasizing about her." Inara frowned slightly. "For reasons she has difficulty articulating, River really does want a sexual relationship with you."

Jayne swallowed, unable to speak.

Good thing 'Nara wasn't done talking yet.

"You need to make a decision, Jayne, and you need to stick to it. Either give in gracefully to her seduction, or put her out of your mind. Choose to never think about her in a sexual way."

"Inara…" Jayne wiped his face with his towel.

The companion shook her head. "You think it's unfair that she has been teasing you for a few days. You have been teasing her since we took them on board. As far as I can see, the whole situation has grown out of the mountain of erotic images that I imagine must roll off of you in waves. Can you deny that you fantasize about her?"

Jayne set his jaw stubbornly. "Inara, I think on all the pretty girls I meet."

"We don't let you describe those thoughts to us out loud." Inara shuddered. "In her case, your thoughts are intrusive. Imagine how it would be if you were describing them to her out loud when she couldn't get away."

"You're saying she'll stop if I stop?" Jayne chewed at his lower lip.

"Yes, but if you don't she will continue." Inara sighed. "She is very stubborn about that. She has agreed to give you some time to consider."

Inara swept away towards her shuttle.

"Oh, one more thing." Inara paused at the stairs. "Mal and Simon will not be permitted to kill you for giving in to her determined seduction."

Inara returned to her shuttle before Jayne was able to form another question for her.

After a quick shower, Jayne grabbed the quarter bottle of bad scotch he had tucked away in the kitchen. He thought about getting a glass, but he figured he'd be drinking the rest anyway, so why bother.

He gulped some down and replaced the lid tightly. That _luh suh _was gonna end up inside him, not all over the floor.

He sat on his bed and set the bottle on the floor.

Jayne pulled River's panties out of his pocket. He stared down at them as the buzz started to hit.

Never make mind sex with the image of the crazy girl ever again?

He ran his rough thumb over the lace.

Could he do that?

She was his most common wet dream. That used to be Inara, but after Miranda…

He couldn't help it when he was sleeping, but could he stop thinking about her when he was awake?

Jayne sniffed at the panties. They mostly smelled like his pocket now. Too bad, that.

He stood, planning to put the lacy thing into a drawer, but they somehow ended up back in his pocket instead.

He sighed and threw himself back on his bed. He probably could put her entirely out of his mind if he was determined enough. Did he really want to try?

According to 'Nara, he could have the real thing.

He could exhaust himself in her arms. Possibly over and over, if she was agreeable.

Jayne had never had regular trim out between ports. In fact, he couldn't recall if he'd ever had a girl out in the Black.

Did he…

Hell yeah, he wanted that. He wanted her in particular. But it was an uncomfortable desire; filled to the brim with questions and guilt. Jayne wasn't used to feeling guilty.

As for Inara's promise that Mal and Simon wouldn't be a problem, he was pretty sure that didn't include after he'd hurt her and she was crying.

He was gonna make her cry. Fact of life. That's just the kind of_ hun dan _he was.

He just had to be himself and she'd be bawling right away.

Sexing River was gonna get him kicked off the boat. Hopefully tossed onto the dock, not into the Black.

Either way, doing this would cost him the best berth he'd ever had. It would leave him with nothing but guns and memories.

Well then, he was just gonna have to leave _Serenity._ He swallowed. He'd been with the boat so long he almost… Oh, well, he would have to figure something out.

Because, if she was serious, there was no way in the Shepherd's Special Hell he was gonna pass up the opportunity.

Jayne relaxed, decision made. His whole body thrummed with anticipation.

He glanced at the bottle on the floor. Seemed like he wouldn't be needing the rest of that after all.

He settled back to paint pretty pictures in his mind.

If Crazy was still in a seducing frame of mind, he was gonna give in to her. Not gracefully like 'Nara'd said, more like energetically.

Jayne didn't go looking for her. He figured she'd come to him again.

She did.

He was shifting some things in the hold, stowing clutter and the like.

He looked up and there she was, looking all fairy-like in one of those short, too low cut dresses she always wore. Jayne let his eyes linger lustfully; let himself imagine touching that creamy skin.

She approached him cautiously.

"I ain't changing for you." Jayne began belligerently.

She nodded gravely, still approaching.

"I'm not a nice man. I'll probably hurt you."

River looked up at him solemnly with those big round eyes.

"I ain't giving up sexin other women. In my head or in person." He watched for her reaction to that.

River's lips twitched, but she nodded calmly.

"An' your brother and I will likely come to blows." He glared.

They stared at each other for several long moments.

"Acceptable." Was all the reply she made.

"And I ain't never gonna kiss you on the mouth." He announced.

"Never is a long time." River's gaze remained even. "But that stipulation is agreed upon as well."

They were silent again.

Jayne cleared his throat. "I reckon I could even figure out how to make it pleasuring for you; foreplay and such. I don't know much about that side of things. Whores ain't paid to need that and I doubt I'm any good at it, but I'll try."

"How sweet." River started to smile. "I'll be in your bunk." She said, grin spreading. "Are you coming?"

Jayne dropped what he was doing.

"Yup." He licked his lips. "Right now?"

She just laughed and ran off.


	5. Changing the Rules

Title: Changing the Rules

Series Title: Green Lace 5/5

Author: FabledFigment

Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me.

Rating: R (For camping out in Jayne's filthy mind)

Timeline: At least one year post BDM. River is still cracked in the brainpan.

Warning: Extra gooey Rayne fluffiness.

* * *

Kaylee was sulking. The rest of the crew was frowning his way every time he turned around.

Everyone except for River. The only one who had any sort of right to be mad at him for leaving the ship wearing his whoring shirt was smiling and joking like nothing was wrong. Not that he understood most of her jokes, just that he was getting to know when she expected him to laugh.

If she was square with him going out for a ruttin good time, why should anyone else say anything?

She got all dressed up too and announced she had friends on Persephone who had invited her out for the evening. Girls her own age she'd been talking to over the Cortex. First Jayne'd heard about that. Figured it was right, though. Healthy.

Did she even catch on to why he was going out?

That thought earned him a 'look.'

"Jayne, I'm crazy not stupid." The girl told him quietly.

Jayne just grunted.

He thought he should just walk off. It was time to go find that good time. He wasn't sure why he didn't.

River adjusted the hem of her dress around her knees.

"I'm ready to go." She announced. "Will you walk me to meet my friends?"

Jayne looked down at her, wondering why he felt so funny.

"Yeah. Where are you meeting them?" He asked, feeling awkward next to her like he did sometimes.

River pulled a scrap of paper out of the tiny bag hanging from her wrist.

"The common room of the Pig and Pony Inn." She read before tucking the scrap away again.

"Huh. I've heard of it. Alright." Jayne grunted.

That was a tame enough spot. Not quite a family restaurant, but it had a reputation for good food, cheap liquor and discrete whores. Might could get fixed up there his own self.

They left the boat together, which made the frowning crew shake their heads in confusion.

River took up his hand as they went. Jayne squeezed her hand gently.

"You ain't steamed that I'm going out?" He asked once they were out of the range of prying ears.

"Why?" She asked calmly. "Are you upset that I am?"

"No." He looked away. "You should have fun with people your own age."

"We had an agreement." She said, lucidly enough to surprise him. "You continue to be yourself, whatever that means to you. We fulfill each other's desires between ports. We are merely taking physical comfort where no alternative is available. Simple."

"You really ain't gonna be mad if I buy time from a whore tonight?" Jayne barely got the words out past the sudden lump in his throat.

"If that is what you want to spend your money on, why should I be upset?" She smiled up at him. "I'm not your wife, Jayne. I'm not even really your girlfriend."

Jayne looked down at their joined hands. "You're just the girl I've been sleeping with for the past month."

"Ah, yes. That's right." She laughed. "See, no reason at all. You have your good time and I'll have fun with my friends. Everyone is happy."

The whole setup still made Jayne feel uncomfortable.

They found the inn easily; it was rather a landmark in the area.

"I'll just stay long enough for a drink." He told River. "I'll keep out of your way."

She looked up at him questioningly. "You may meet my friends if you wish to."

"No." He held up a protesting hand. "I'll be over at a table somewhere. Smells good in here, maybe I'll eat while I'm here too."

River rubbed the back of his hand against her smooth cheek before she dropped it and headed for the bar.

The crowd was lively and young. It looked like there was a pretty good mix of social classes.

Jayne felt at home. He took a table against the wall, out of the direct light, but where he could still see her.

River greeted two young women with big hugs. Jayne could tell one of them asked about him because they all looked his way. No telling what Moonbrain was saying to them.

The waitress took his attention off of her for a moment.

Jayne ordered the house special, some strong drink for after and a room for the night. He took the option that included the price of one of the house whores. Might as well conduct all his business here. He paid up front. Places like this liked it that way.

River and her friends were out on the dance floor now. Jayne watched her body move to the fast modern music, thinking to himself of the times she'd danced for him to just the sound of the ship.

She met his eyes from across the room and smiled.

_Wo de ma. _She sure was beautiful.

Jayne's food came quick and he ate it slow, watching her move. Even when she spun fast, he couldn't quite catch a glimpse of her panties. The dress didn't go high enough. Maybe that was a good thing with this crowd around to see.

Laughing and leaning on each other, all three girls made their way back to the bar where food and drink were waiting for them.

Jayne's eyes narrowed as he noticed how many boys there were in the crowd. They were all eyeing his crazy girl.

Jayne had his waitress keep the liquor flowing.

After about the third come on from the house girls he realized that none of them where what he was looking for tonight. They were pretty enough, just all wrong. Looked like he would be sleeping up in that comfy bed all by his lonesome. Maybe he should just go home.

He paid for another drink, watching River munch on fried finger food.

Some sauce dripped onto her fingers. Jayne groaned as he watched her lick it up.

River paused mid-laugh and turned to look at him, smiling, before turning back to her friends.

Jayne sighed. This 'I ain't changing' thing had really turned around to bite him.

Here he was, drinking alone because the only woman he wanted perched on his knee was that skinny little brunette holding court at the bar. The buzzing boys were homing in on her, she was talking with some of them now.

Jayne scowled down at his drink. Even quality liquor wasn't drowning out the sound of her laughter.

He should just go back to the ship. He could pick up a bottle. That would be cheaper than sitting in a bar if he was going to drink alone anyway.

One of the young bucks sniffing about River swung her out onto the dance floor. The dance was lively and quick, they moved well together. Jayne tensed, but forced himself to relax.

Let her have fun. He told himself. Once they were out in the Black again, she'd come back to him.

Hopefully. At least he was pretty sure she would. He wanted her to. He touched the lace in his pocket. He wasn't sure why he still carried it, you'd think he'd be beyond that by now.

The music slowed and the young man pulled Crazy closer.

Pure jealousy stabbed through Jayne. It startled him. He wasn't sure he'd ever been jealous before. When all your lady friends are whores, it does you no good at all to be jealous.

Why was he sitting here anyway?

Jayne knocked back the last of his…third? drink. No, fourth.

He didn't need to stay here and watch some puppy feel up his… His? Possessiveness gripped him.

Yeah, _his_ crazy girl, _his_ moonbrain.

His River.

Jayne stood, happy to see he was still steady on his feet.

He told himself to walk out the door, but he was drawn the other way.

Jayne tapped the young man on the shoulder. The puppy turned and took in Jayne's appearance scornfully.

"I'm cutting in." Jayne growled.

"I think that's up to the lady, my friend." The puppy's voice was educated and Jayne noted that his clothes were nicer than he'd realized. The kid continued, ballsy brat. "I doubt she wants to be rough handled by the likes of you."

Jayne sorely wanted to knock a few teeth out of that smart mouth, but he stayed his hand.

"Yeah? Maybe not. Hows about I dance real gentle-like and not rough at all?" Jayne was suddenly aware of the liquor on his breath. This was a bad idea, actually. He didn't really think she'd be too happy if he hit this boy.

He met River's eye, her brow was slightly furrowed.

"Say, kid," Jayne turned his eyes back to the boy. "You don't happen to see the man she walked in with, do you? About my height, grey stripy shirt, big fellow, intimidating manner?"

Jayne held out a hand to River, hoping she'd take it.

She did, silently.

Jayne smiled over at the kid and shoved his room key into his hand. "Here you go, fair trade."

River giggled quietly as Jayne swept them off into the crowd.

"I'm heading back to the ship soon." He told her as they swayed to the slow music.

"Alone?" She asked quietly.

"Unless you're coming. I don't want to bust up your party." And he didn't want to watch no more.

River looked up at him curiously. "You've shifted." She lifted a hand off his shoulder to cup his face. "What is different?"

He shrugged.

"None of the girls are to your liking?" She smiled softly. "There are some pretty ones, nice bodies, nice big breasts."

"I…" He just wanted her.

Her eyes widened. "Oh." A slow smile spread across her face. "Oh, do you want to change the rules?"

"Yeah, I guess." He mumbled.

River pressed her body closer and began doing distracting things to his neck. "I'm ready to go home whenever you are." She whispered into his ear.

Jayne lowered his head and inhaled. She smelled more flowery than usual.

They continued to move slowly even though the beat increased and people were dancing wildly around them.

Changing the rules. Could be so.

"I ain't about to let you get away from me." He growled.

"I know." She didn't even sound smug.

Wasn't just the rules. He was changing himself. She was the most special thing to ever happen to him. She was worth changing for. He wanted to, that was all.

His eyes were drawn to her lips. He still hadn't kissed her, even after a month of sexin. He wasn't rightly sure what the meaning of not kissin was anymore.

She weren't out to drug or rob him.

They'd been intimate in every other way Jayne could think of, and a few ways River'd thought up.

She weren't no whore, he wouldn't run the risk of being turned off by tasting another man on her breath.

Jayne caught her chin in his hand. He ran the pad of his thumb across her lower lip.

He was changing himself for her, and he should start here. He leaned in and kissed her lips gently.

It was an innocent kiss, a first kiss.

He sure as hell didn't know how to go about kissin. Hadn't done it since the first whore he'd ever met stole his whole pay.

"Ready to blow this joint?" Jayne asked, grinding his hips against her.

"Figuratively, yes." River said seriously, although her eyes were laughing. "Literally I would need…"

"Hey, no mayhem." Jayne cautioned. "The pays gotta be pretty good to blow up an occupied building in a crowded port."

River giggled. "I should say goodbye to Cara and Lorilei." She smiled shyly up at him. "Will you meet them now?"

"If you want me to, I guess."

"Yes please." Her bright smile chased away his uneasiness at the thought.

River led them through the crowd of dancers to her place at the bar.

"This is Jayne." She announced happily. "My knight in black ops armor."

Jayne could tell when an interested female was checking him out; both of these friends of hers definitely were. He tucked River in closer, giving off as many 'I'm taken' signals as he knew.

"Jayne, this is Cara, this is Lorilei. I don't remember the rest of the names." She glanced around, letting her gaze slide right over the puppy she'd been dancing with.

"We've heard a lot about you." Cara smiled up at him. "Nice to finally meet you."

Jayne shifted uncomfortably. What would River have said?

"Yeah, Riv-darling," Lorilei added. "Sexy is the biggest understatement I've heard all year."

"We're going home." River announced. "Sorry to leave you so soon."

She kissed both girls and stepped back into Jayne's arms. "I just can't keep my hands off him."

Cara and Lorilei laughed with her.

"Goodnight, I'll see you next time we're in port." River waved to the crowd and led Jayne out into the night.

"You knew." Jayne said once she'd started them down the street.

"What?" She looked genuinely confused.

"You knew I wouldn't really buy time." He smoothed her hair, as they walked, entwined, towards the ship.

"No." She replied simply.

"You didn't know?"

"No, I thought you would eventually get over that habit. However, my best projections indicated it would take at least one whore to convince you that what we have is better. I was prepared to allow three or four before I objected." She shrugged. "I just knew I could live with it until you figured it out."

"You were just gonna wait?" Jayne was pretty sure he'd never understand this girl.

"Never believe you have tamed a wild cat just because it eats from your hand." She rubbed her palm down his arm. "I don't want you tamed or constrained."

They walked along for a while.

"I want rights to you." Jayne let his jumbled thoughts flow out. "I want you to have rights to me."

River looked up at him questioningly.

"I want you to be mine and nobody else's." Jayne swallowed hard. "I want you to feel the same way about me."

"Acceptable." She replied After a moment she added, "We will fight."

"We can make up after." Jayne offered.

"I'm crazy, that won't change." River cautioned.

"I'm already used to crazy." He kissed the top of her head. "The reader part doesn't even bother me anymore."

"Yes it does." She laughed.

"Well not as much then." He reached over to fiddle with her ear.

"I love you." She said shyly.

That stopped Jayne dead in his tracks. He spun her about so he could look down into her face.

"Why?" He croaked out. "Ain't never done nuthin to cause that."

She laughed and wiped at her eye. "Emotions are irrational. You are not required to return the sentiment."

Jayne hugged her gently. Maybe she didn't need it, but he had a feeling his own declaration wasn't far behind.

"Mine." River said, reaching up to frame his face with both hands. "My Jayne. No one else's. Will scratch out the eyes of the temptress who attempts to purloin him."

She tugged his face down where she could reach it and kissed his mouth. Her kiss was a great deal less innocent than his had been. She pried open his lips and then his teeth with her tongue.

She tasted like sweet mustard and fried chicken.

Jayne pulled reluctantly away, almost surprised to find he'd lifted her clean off the pavement.

River let her legs fall away from his waist and stood shakily again.

"Lets go home, beautiful." Jayne said. "I don't want to be locked up instead of sexin you up."

River laughed and let him lead her home.

"Jayne, are you ever going to give my panties back?" She asked as they approached the locked ship.

"Nope." He licked his lips. They were still in his front pocket. Wasn't never gonna give them up.

"I could wear them for you again." She offered.

Hmm, that was downright tempting.

Jayne reached over and lifted the back of her skirt. She gasped. He ran his hand across the smooth satin covering her ass.

"Trade you for the ones you have on." He leered down at her.

"Deal" She agreed, punching in the security code.

It could probably be considered a miracle that they made it all the way to Jayne' bunk, their bunk, before making the trade.


End file.
